Loss is loss. Pain is pain. Trauma is trauma. There is no point in trying to compare whose trauma is worse. As we know, trauma results from an event (or series of events) which is experienced as harmful or life threatening to a person, and which has lasting effects on that person. Those effects may be physical, mental, spiritual, and/or emotional. As each person is vastly different, there is no expected response to any particular trauma. An individual will react, heal, and move on based upon a variety of factors.

Many times trauma survivors feel an expectation of how they should be recovering and when they should be getting back to “normal” life. Many who have suffered a loss are prone to unsolicited comments from others regarding moving on from a hardship. The survivor may also have internal ideas or expectations for when they will be “healed” and may feel frustrated when that time period comes and goes and they are still struggling.

As a trauma-informed coalition, we should encourage individuals to embrace their own pace in their personal healing journeys. The ability to have control over ones’ own path is an important part of the healing process. The person needs not feel imposed timelines and expectations. This would only cause undue pressure during a time when the person needs support. Grief is a personal journey which can often have times of setback and which does not take a linear path.

Many individuals have found comfort in the opportunity to share their situation with others who can empathize with their situation, such as in a support group or with a trusted friend. It is helpful to know that one is not alone in a struggle. At the same time, each person’s individual struggle will be different in terms of the length of time and the specific manner in which they will cope with their situation. By rejecting expectations for timelines in healing journeys, we can fully support survivors. We can help them to move at their own pace for full healing.

{Photo by Jonatán Becerra on Unsplash}